Look, guys. If for any reason you should ever find yourselves questioning how much I heart each one of you, I’d like you to step back and remember that I read this book so that you didn’t have to. There was a little review-y blurb at the beginning that said something like this book would do for witches what Twilight did for vampires. I’m assuming this means “make them the butt of all the jokes on the internet forever and ever.”So, I dunno. I guess I was prejudiced from the start about this one because of that little quote, but I tried to keep an open mind. I wasn’t even done with the first few chapters, though, before I knew it was hopeless. The story follows Emma, a high school junior that has recently moved to New York City to live with her wealthy aunt. Her mother died of cancer the year before and her twin brother died when they were 14. She left her tiny town upstate to get away from the ostracism brought on by her alcoholic step-father. I guess…I didn’t realize that this was a thing? Like, are teens now bullying other teens because their step-family member drives drunk and wrecks the car? Really? It seemed like a piss-poor premise from the get-go, really, but I haven’t been a teenager in a really long time, so maybe this is how things are now? Anyway, Emma’s aunt is on the board of directors at this super exclusive private school (it’s not even a school building! It used to be a mansion!), so Emma is in, of course. She’s got this huge scar from the car accident on her arm, so she refuses to wear the short sleeved shirts of the school uniform. Her first day, she gets teased by the resident mean girl and hit on by the school sleaze. She makes up some BS story about where she’s from, because she doesn’t want the kids at the school to be able to google her and find all about her drunken step-father. Again, this really seemed like she was reaching for a reason, and pulled different pieces of the backstory out of a hat and forced them together in a way that just didn’t make any sense. The class bitch questions her about her obviously fake background, and this MEGABABE sitting in front of her decides to turn around and back her up on her story. ”Oh, yeah…we play that school in basketball.”Emma gets caught up in his dazzling green eyes, and makes a note to herself to ask questions about this guy later. He comments about this medallion thingy she always wears (it was a gift from her twin before he died, it’s some kind of crest with a unicorn and a rose – he found it at a yard sale and said he thought it would bring her luck.) and she gets all blushy and teehee-y. She gets kind of friendly with this one girl, and of course makes the token gay BFF. She also meets this witchy goth girl in one of her classes, who declares she’s okay after reading her aura or something. There’s the whole “Oh, yeah, I’m totes a witch and so’s my mommy, so I definitely know what I’m talking about,” conversation that is to set the course for a lot of the infodumps we receive throughout it. One of my least favourite lines in the book is in reference to this girl: ’I, personally, thought she was a trip.’1. Who talks like that?2. I HATE “I/me, personally…” and “I for one…” This is seriously one of my biggest writing pet peeves. Please take note: Use of the words I and me are indicative of possession. This is your opinion/stance and no one else’s. There is absolutely no reason to continue to further indicate that this is your opinion on something. Every single time I see an example of this, I cringe. Then I tell Meg and we make a bunch of “well, we FOR TWO!” jokes.3. WHO TALKS LIKE THAT?!Spoilers abound with the Trashy Tuesday write up.